If you grew up being raised by humans, I’m going to guess that your parents weren’t perfect. Many of us struggle with making sense of the choices our parents made, how they treated us, and the effects left on our lives. You don’t have to be an ACoA (Adult Child of an alcoholic) to appreciate some of the traits we display.~listed below. And as an ACoA, you may not demonstrate all of these traits.

Common Traits of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic in relationships

• Guess at what normal is.
• Judge ourselves without mercy
• Have difficulty having fun as we take ourselves very seriously
• Don’t like change
• Are extremely responsible
• Confuse pity for love and put the needs of others before our own
• Are loyal, even when loyalty isn’t deserved
• Are concerned more with others than ourselves
• Feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves
• Become addicted to excitement
• Love’ people who need rescuing
• Stuff our feelings
• Lose the ability to feel
• Have low self-esteem
• Do anything to hold on to a relationship
• Marry or date alcoholics
• Become reactors instead of actors
• Over-react to personal criticism
• Demonstrate a victim mentality
• Fear abandonment

I think we can agree that this may seem pretty daunting. As an ACoA, I have demonstared one or all of these behaviors at some point or another in my life. But what changed everything for me was being able to name the behavior so that I could take the steps necessary to stop it! In doing research, I found that these traits are easy to find. What’s missing? How to fix it!

If you can relate, I suggest you enroll in one of my upcoming tele-trainings or group coaching classes.